The Deepest Breath on Stage

When I found out that The Deepest Breath was going to be adapted for the stage, I was in shock. When I found it was going to premier in New York, I was so excited. When I found out it was being adapted by Treehouse Shakers, by a wonderful queer director and incredible cast, I was elated. When I saw it? I was…present. Which might not sound like much, but to me its massive, its important, its practically unheard of. I never feel fully present, fully here. I am always lost in my head, in the past and the future. I am always worrying or overthinking or catastrophising. But when the lights went down and the music began, when my little characters appeared in front of me? I was there. I was nowhere but there. And it was beautiful, it was joyous, it was real. I sat there, surrounded by my family, watching ridiculously talented performers bring my story and characters to life and when I say it was life-changing I am not being dramatic. It changed the way I view my work and by extension myself. Hearing my words, seeing my world brought to life by the incomparable Cheyenne Mesura and their wonderful cast, I was reminded of the importance and the power of stories, especially queer stories. I was reminded how special this thing I get to do is, how lucky I am to get to tell stories, how lucky I am to have people read those stories.

I sat there, and I felt present, it felt real and I cannot overstate how important that is, how new that is for me. I felt like something unlocked inside me and suddenly I could see properly how fortunate I am. I held my girlfriend’s hand, I hugged my mum, I saw my little brothers face absolutely light up as he watched this gorgeous show. And it was beautiful. And it was life-changing. And I’ve been inspired ever since. So thank you to everyone involved, you have given me such a gift and I will forever be grateful. When I doubt my abilities or my stories or my strength, I will remember sitting there, I will remember the conversations I had with the cast and crew, and I will keep creating.

When we got back to the apartment we were staying in, I immediatly put on my pyjamas, sat on the cold kitchen floor, ate some peeps and settled into this new way of being. I felt proud, I felt moved, I felt at peace.

Meg

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